A 4-Step Guide to Date Widower Having Children

It is difficult to tell for how long you have to wait or you should wait to start dating someone after the loss of your husband. It depends on the span of time you need to go through all stages of grief. It also depends on what kind of situation you are going through. Is it the situation of grief, complicated grief or depression ? It is difficult to tell the right time. You might have feelings for someone even when you are in one of the stages of grieving. This is possible. The person may offer you a helping hand in your grief.

Dating a widower is not difficult as both of you share the same pain. Though the grief is personal, there is a commonality between the pains of both. However, dating a widower father has its own set of challenges especially if his wife has passed recently or unexpectedly. Still, a warm and fulfilling relationship can be developed with a widower having kids. All you need is a little extra patience and understanding. Also, give him the willingness and space to express what he feels. If you are experiencing some positive changes due to that person’s arrival in your life, here is a step by step guide that will help you in dating after loss.

Step 1

It is good to take it slow. He might be ready. He might have successfully conquered the grief after the loss of his spouse. However, maybe his kids are still dealing with the pain of the death of their mother. His top preference is to help out kids in dealing with the grief. Therefore, you should not involve yourself in their lives too aggressively as it may have adverse effects on the relation.

Step 2

Don’t try to be a decision maker. Let the new partner play the major role in deciding how the relationship should progress. Sometimes you might want to interact with kids. Let him decide when to introduce you to children.

Step 3

According to Psychologist Phyllis Silverman, mourning is not an illness. It is a process and it has an impact on an individual for the rest of life. Therefore, allow your new partner and his kids to grieve. You should be a good listener. Tell him that he can tell you what he and his kids feel after this loss.

Step 4

In the final step, do your best to fill that emptiness with your partner’s and his kids’ lives. Do not try to replace the wife and mother they have lost. You can’t. She was a different person. They are not going to compare you with her. Just be who you are.

Depression, grief and complicated grief after the Death of Spouse

The soul of a person is seized with a grief after the death of someone who was always with him in his good and bad time. However, after the death of the loved one, the grief can also mark the beginning of depression. Grieving and sadness is natural after the death of the spouse. However, if you are feeling depressed, you are suffering from a disorder. The definition of depression by Merriam-Webster describes depression as a medical condition in which the patient feels hopeless and sad. The person suffering from this condition also feels unimportant and struggles in living a normal life.